June 05, 2014

Mommy Bloggers + Hilarious Words of Wisdom

This article from Carrie Goldman, the adoptive mama behind Portrait of An Adoption, really made us laugh. It’s about all the ways in which she was a perfect mom until she had kids, and includes such gems as this:

“My kids will leave the house with their hair combed neatly and wearing clothes that match.Reality: We hit a low last summer when Annie Rose insisted on wearing one snow boot and one flip flop to Target, happily limping her way through the aisles. An astonishing number of old ladies asked if I was aware that her shoes didn’t match.  Yes, thank you for your concern, I replied.”

We thought we’d turn to some of our other favorite mommy bloggers to see what hilarious (and true) words of wisdom they had to offer as well…

Kristen Howerton of Rage Against the Minivan shows us what the inside of her house really looks like. Above a photo of herself wearing workout gear, she notes: “Here I am wearing workout gear. Did I work out? No. I just dress up like I’m going to because it’s a socially acceptable way to wear pajamas outside.”

Ann Imig writes hilariously about a not-so-hilarious subject…bedtime. Quite possibly one of the most dreaded parts of a parent’s day, next to trying to get them to school. Are we right?

“I sing to my kids at bedtime. Let me re-phrase that: I mete out warnings and serve as a physical barrier between my two children in my bed, as I croon behavior management-aborted phrases of three songs–the same three songs–in the same order, every night. The boys employ strict rules around this nightly routine, following in our family tradition of pre-dream-time dictatorship.”

Pee fights. Do your kids have them? Because Beth Woolsey’s do, and she’s trying to imbue her home with a sense of Pee Fight Pacifism. You can take a guess at how well this goes.

“I caught my twin boys planning a pee fight yesterday. I mean, sure, it was all talk. So far. No shots had been fired. But still. It caught me up short, and I renewed my determination to impose my peecifism on my kids. This is no time for them to think for themselves, friends.”

What are some of your favorite funny mommy bloggers? We all need a little bit of humor in our lives!