June 20, 2018
Life Lessons Adoption Gives Us
One of our favorite things about adoption is that it teaches so many life lessons. Every aspect of the adoption process provides valuable experiences regarding family, diversity, selflessness, courage, bravery, compassion, and empathy that will continue to inform and enlighten you throughout your life. Once you’ve been through an adoption process, it’s impossible to see the world in the same light.
What are some of our favorite lessons?
Compassion for someone else’s story. There is no room for judgment in adoption. To enter the adoption process is to humble yourself and open your heart to someone else’s life experience. Even when it’s vastly different from yours, or you don’t understand it. It is imperative that you see the love and good in others, especially when it’s challenging. And it will be challenging.
The redefinition of family. It’s so refreshing, to rid yourself of the notion that family has to be this or that, or solely related by blood, or anything resembling what we’ve come to internalize as “traditional” or “normal.” Family is exactly what you make of it, and you can have as many people in yours as you want.
Diversity is amazing. The cultures, colors, and worlds that adoption weaves together are remarkable, and it will break down walls you didn’t even know you had. We are a world so divided, and adoption is all about bringing people together, regardless of where they come from. That is a deeply powerful thing.
Your well of strength runs deep. Adoption is a challenging process. It is hard and emotional, it contains heartbreak, and the parenting journey is unlike any other. But the way it lights up your inner strength is extraordinary. You can’t back away from the hardships, you have to lean into them. And through that, you will accomplish things for yourself and your family you never thought possible.
The value of kindness is never-ending. People have a lot of unfair and untrue ideas about what adoption is, and as a result, adoptive parents, adoptees, and birth parents are constantly fielding rude and hurtful questions and comments about their lives. Sometimes it’s malicious and mean-spirited, but most of the time it comes from a lack of understanding. When you’ve been in this position, your eyes are opened to the value of kindness and how you treat others. Whether that’s responding compassionately to someone who has hurt you, or extending benevolence to someone else — you will rethink what it means to offer grace and tenderness back to the world.