June 24, 2011

How much is too much?

I am just going to come out and say it. You can have a successful placement without obtaining an encyclopedia of medical records and/or talking to your birth mother everyday. In fact, less contact can sometimes be better. We do recognize the importance of medical records and work very diligently to obtain that information, but there is no secret message between the lines of the progress notes stating a woman’s true intentions regarding her adoption plan. Woman who are placing their children for adoption don’t necessarily want every medical detail known about them just as an adoptive family doesn’t want their birth mother to know about their mishap with the law at age 19. Adoption is complex. Its emotional roller coaster can be weary.  At times, it is next to impossible for adoptive parents not to think the worst and when birth mom isn’t always available for a chat those thoughts are not easily suppressed. And it is only human to want to know all you can about your birth mother and Facebook makes it simple, but before you send that “friend request” think about your birth mom in her world and make sure she is okay with mixing this with that.