April 02, 2014

A Celebration of Open Adoption

Here are some amazing stories about open adoption we’ve come across that so deserve to be shared. There are so many stigmas surrounding open adoption, and whether you’re in one and love it or are contemplating one and feeling totally scared, these poignant pieces will get you thinking.

Push Me, Pull You: A birth mother reflects on what it’s like to create a balance between being a birth mother and the biological mother of two children. Her honesty is truly inspiring.

Feel like expanding your blog roll? Here’s a list of Open Adoption Bloggers’ Best Open Adoption Blogs of 2013!

Here’s a great feature on navigating a successful open adoption relationship with your birth mother, including tips on what to do before placement, in the hospital and after placement.

Have you ever thought about the parallels between open adoption and marriage? This adoptive mother has, and she has some pretty insightful things to say. “When you’re in the midst of one of these moments, time seems to stand still for a second, but the moment for correcting the misperception is fleeting.  I jumped on it, quickly summarizing how “normal” the composition of grafted families in open adoption truly is when you break it down.  She married her husband, who was not biologically related to her, and they created a family.  With her husband came in-laws and extended family members.  When we adopted our children, who are not biologically related to us, we grew our family.  They came with their family, much like my husband came with in-laws.  It would seem strange to cut my husband off from his family, simply because a new family had been created, would it not?”

The amazing Kristen Howerton of Rage Against the Minivan shares her thoughts about open adoption, alongside this great post. “When I first heard about open adoption — the mother chooses the family by looking at family books and letters, then communication and learning to trust each other, then a child who moves from one mother to another, and in some cases, letters and meetings in the following years — I was scared. I wanted to be the mother, the only mother. I didn’t want the complexity and ambiguity of it all. But a good friend of ours told me something that changed our minds. She also didn’t want to try open adoption at first. And then she realized this: it’s all about having a story for your child. “Your birth mother loves you, and she realized she couldn’t take care of you the way she wanted you to be cared for. She made the hardest decision she has ever made, for your sake. And she chose us to be your family.”