birthmother hotline Adoptive Family Help Line

July 14, 2020

Creating Your Adoption Birth Plan

The birthing process is an emotional one, filled with so many unexpected moments. That’s why we encourage all adoptive parents working with a birthmother to consider a birth plan as part of their process. If you’re planning an open adoption, it should evolve from a conversation with your child’s birth parents. If your adoption is closed, it’s one you should have with your agency or coordinator. Either way—you’ll want to have something in place to ensure everyone’s needs and expectations are communicated and acknowledged. 

Here are a few tips:

Plan ahead. Find the time for you and your child’s birth parents to have an open discussion and develop a plan. This could feel completely comfortable, or a little bit strange. That’s okay!

Some helpful questions:

  • Do you plan to contact us when you go into labor?
  • Would you like us in the delivery room?
  • When will the official placement occur—at the hospital or facilitated afterward?

As adoptive parents, you will need to pack a bag and make preparations. Adopt Help has compiled a helpful list of often forgotten items. The more you talk through your plan, the more questions may arise. That’s entirely normal. Every birth plan has to start somewhere. Life Long Adoptions has an excellent adoption hospital plan that offers resources for everyone involved. 

Be mindful of your child’s birth family. Your child’s biological mother and father are their legal guardians until the adoption papers are signed. They will have the right to make decisions about care, spend time with the newborn, and even decide against placement altogether. It’s important to keep an open line of communication, but also to give them space as they navigate the emotions and realities of birth and placement. 

Don’t forget the most important thing. The hospital experience can be emotional and overwhelming, but the child is the most important thing. Regardless of what arises, maintain respect, kindness, and compassion and do what you can to make this a positive day. This is about families coming together for the greater good of a child. 

Above all—take a deep breath, lead with kindness, and be open to communication. This is a group effort, and everyone deserves to feel safe. Make sure you’ve got a reliable support team in place during your child’s birth and after. You deserve that.