March 02, 2016

Depression and Adoption

Depression is a scary reality in the adoption world. For many reasons, studies show that rates of depression in individuals who are adopted are double that of normal rates. Even the smoothest adoptions come with questions of identity, and it’s no question that at some point in their life, adoptees may feel lost, lonely, insecure, confused, and in need of some emotional guidance.

So how can we help?

Part of it comes from understanding and awareness. The more we can educate ourselves on this phenomenon, learn about why and how this happens, and prepare ourselves to be there for those in our life who may experience periods of depression, the more we spread awareness and commit ourselves to taking care of those in our community who most need it.

Here are some resources we recommend for learning more about depression in adoption:

Adoption Learning Partners is holding a 1.5 hour webinar in April that’s all about helping adopted and fostered individuals struggling with depression. It’s only $15 to register, and they’re covering a variety of topics, including: the role of trauma and how it can play out over time, what depression and anxiety looks like at different stages, helping kids to develop coping mechanisms, when to seek out professional help and so much more. This is a wonderful opportunity to learn more about this topic!

This book, “Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow” is an excellent resource for helping to understand a child who has endured trauma, how that might affect them as they develop, and in turn, how it affects the entire family. It’s an important perspective to consider, not just how your child or loved one is affected, but how these issues involve and affect the loved ones surrounding them. We definitely recommend this book for parents of any adopted child who have experienced any level of trauma.

Another book, “The Connected Child: Bringing Home and Healing to your Adoptive Family” is an extremely powerful book written by two research psychologists who have studied so many children and families, and really understand the nuances of adoption and attachment. Attachment, and the struggles that can occur in achieving it, is definitely a contributor to depression and anxiety, and this book is a beautiful parenting guide for connecting with children who have experienced trauma, and therefore have difficulty connecting to their family and those around them.

If your child is struggling with depression, it’s important to know that it’s not your fault, it’s not their fault, and there is help available. If at any time your child seems to be in danger, or the situation has escalated to beyond what you feel you are able to control, reach out to your physician immediately for a mental health referral. There is no shame in looking to outside help—that is why these specialists exist.