June 08, 2016

You Don’t Need To Be Perfect To Be An Adoptive Parent

But it sure doesn’t feel that way sometimes, does it?

You have to go through the home study process and have your entire life subject to speculation, investigation, and judgment. You have to meet with birth mothers until you find someone who chooses you, you have to share, over and over again, why you will be the best parents for someone else’s child. A child you would give anything in the world to parent.

How could that not cause a complex?

And then there’s the waiting period, where all of this stuff sits around, swimming in your head, giving you every opportunity in the world to engage in self-doubt, fear, and a whole host of negative emotions that may make you question whether it’s going to work out.

Despite the process, it is so important for you to remember that you do not have to be perfect. And no one expects you to. What’s more important is being authentic. Being exactly who you are.

If you are the type of person who will turn your world upside down to adopt a child then it’s safe to say you are a pretty spectacular person. And you’re already more than qualified for the job. Trust the instinct that tells you this is the right thing to do and when you’re talking with birth mothers, the social workers, the adoption professionals, your friends and family who may seem slightly skeptical…just be exactly who you are.

What people want to see is your capacity for love and affection; they want to get a sense of what you’re truly passionate about, and why you are so in love with the idea of being a parent. They want to know what your dreams for parenthood are, how you’ll raise your child, what inspired you to adopt, and why your home will be a stable, supportive, loving one. The great news is, you already know all these things! Because they’re who you are, not who you need to be.

We love meeting with our adoptive parents because we are so inspired by the diverse lifestyles, personalities, histories, relationships, and personalities we get to encounter everyday. Not once do we ever think about whether or not you’re “the perfect parent.” And we hope you won’t put that kind of pressure on yourself either.