May 24, 2011

Expect the Unexpected

We recently, much to the delight of the adoptive family, had a birth mother change her mind. She didn’t change her mind about placing her child with this family, she changed her adoption plan. In her original “plan” she wanted minimal contact with the adoptive family she chose. The family obliged as they were unsure about their comfort level regarding communication. As the adoption progressed, contact between the adoptive family and their birth mother increased. There were times of panic when communication would drop-off (as it often does), but overall the family was thrilled with the level of contact and the relationship that was being formed. At the time of birth, the unexpected happened – the birth mother made a request to have the adoptive mom in the delivery room with her (sorry dad, girls only)! This request changed this adoption. The family went from fearing their birth mom might find out their last name to welcoming this woman into their lives forever. It was a contradiction of the original plan, yet it came as no real surprise to the birth mom or adoptive parents. It is hard to say what will happen to this relationship. Communication may lessen or even be lost or she may come to Thanksgiving Dinner every year, either way, this is one awesome adoption story!