August 20, 2020

Finding Balance During The Adoption Process

When you’re waiting to adopt your child, work is likely the last thing on your mind. The waiting period can be full of anxieties regarding your future, and while your job may be the last item on your list, it’s important to think about how you hope to achieve balance in your home. Finding this balance won’t just benefit you, it will benefit your entire family. 

So, where do even start to find balance? First, it’s a good idea to plan beyond your parental leave. Welcoming a new addition to your family is exciting, and it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day cuddles, kisses, and excitements. Once you return to work, your life is going to begin to form a very different, long-term pattern. One night, sit down with a pad a paper and write out some answers to these questions:

• What do you want your future to look like? And not in an abstract, far-off way. Put a couple of (relatively) tight deadlines around it: 1 year, 2 years, ten years.
• What actions or sacrifices will it take to achieve that? Financially, geographically, emotionally?

Once you have an idea of how you want to proceed—start strategizing. This will require planning of childcare, school activities, daily schedule, and more. You may not think you need to plan outside of the traditional nine-to-five workday, but don’t forget that sometimes work might require staying a little late or going in early. 

Not only do you need to plan childcare for your standard workday, but you also need to build a network of reliable caretakers for those times when you can’t be in two places at once. Talk to other parents about what resources they access, or reach out to the school district to inquire about after-school care. Sometimes the best place to start is with already-trusted caregivers in your immediate circle. 

Explore a flexible work schedule. As certain as you are that you will remain full-time once your family grows, you never know what feelings and emotions may come over you. Have other coworkers arranged a flexible or part-time work schedule after becoming parents? Is there an HR representative that you could speak to about ideas? Maybe you could ease into it and start working from home 1-2 days a week to help the transition. Balance is a personal achievement, and not everyone’s balance looks the same. 

Be present. Stick to your plan and schedule so that you can be present at home with your family when the day is over. As important as it is to have a plan for your weekday life—make your weekend life a priority, too! 

Take this time to find activities to do with your family, or just enjoy each other’s company. Make a meal plan with your family so weeknight dinners are less stressful. Finding balance is about making adjustments in some areas so other areas are able to flourish.