November 27, 2012

How do you talk to birth mothers?

It can be difficult for adoptive families, or even friends, family and adoption professionals, to navigate the right language to use when discussing adoption with a birth mother. Sometimes there is so much concern about not offending or keeping things PC, that in the end birth mothers just feel more misunderstood than anything else.

In this video, birth mother Casey illuminates some of the stereotypes regarding how birth mothers are treated, and the underlying negativity of the language that’s often used to describe the birth mother’s role in the adoption process (ie: using “gave up” for adoption, rather than “placed.”) She makes many great points and really reinforces the fact that birth mothers ARE moms – whether their role is traditional or not – and that to treat them as anything but, or to make assumptions about why they are choosing to place their child for adoption, is both unfair and hurtful.

Casey’s reminds us – and anyone interacting with a birth mother – that kindness and sensitivity is key. It’s always better to be forthcoming and to keep negativity out of the equation. Remember that bravery is always at the heart of every birth mother’s journey through adoption – not weakness.