December 11, 2013

Keeping Your Child’s Birth Mother in Mind Over Christmas

I don’t know about you guys, but December felt like it was over before the month had hardly begun. Between Christmas cards, decorations, present-buying, cookie-making and party-going, it hardly seems like there’s time to take a breath, let alone get everything ticked off an ever-growing list! Depending on your relationship with your child’s birth mother, this is a very important holiday during which to remember her. Holidays are difficult for birth parents — family figures a great deal into how holidays are spent, and they’re probably juggling many emotions about what this means to them. So as you’re making all your holiday plans, be sure to remember your birth mother. To help you out, here is a list of gestures, big and small, that are sure to make her feel very special.

Something engraved. Engraved items hold such a special significance because they feel so personal, and they show that a little extra thought and care went into producing something unique the recipient. Depending on how old your child is, this could be anything from a small baby rattle, to a piece of jewelry like a necklace or bracelet that she can wear whenever she wants to feel close to her child. Something simple like your baby’s initials, or even a small message of love is sure to be appreciated.

When we asked our Facebook followers about some of the successful gifts they’ve given their birth mothers, one adoptive mother replied that they send photos, a Christmas card, and an ornament with their child’s hand print, remarking that the family always expresses how touched they are by the gesture. Especially in this day and age, when physical expressions of love and thanks have moved from the physical to the electronic, any gesture to show she’s in your mind and hearts will have a wonderful impact.

If your children are aware of their birth mother and are accustomed to sending her letters and photos, then have them write up a little something for her…maybe a short story about Christmas, a poem or even just a heartfelt letter. What is sweeter than something written in a child’s handwriting?

Are you close with your child’s birth mother? Is she an integrated part of your family? Then have her over, or set aside time for a special Christmas celebration with her and your family. Gifts are wonderful and show great thought, but when it comes to the holidays, it’s all about spending time with people you love. In whatever way you can give her the gift of a bit of your time and thought. That will go farther than you can imagine.