May 19, 2017

Link Roundup

Happy Friday everyone!

To the end of the week, and an even lovelier weekend.

Here are some recent reads that caught our eye and incited discussion around the office. Enjoy!

This piece, written by a biological mother whose daughter was adopted, shares what some many consider controversial views on the nature of positive adoption language, where it comes from, and whether or not it’s actually positive. A very important read. “Once we were natural mothers, defining our role as conceived by nature; the term, to us, indicated exactly who we were and how we fit into the scheme of our children’s lives. It also signaled we were not raising the child, because mothers are mothers, no modifiers necessary. But as adoption became big business in the Sixties and Seventies, the clients—those who pay the fees, and thus the keep agencies in business— conveyed their discomfort at what the word, to them, implied: that they were the unnatural parents. So articles about “preferred adoption language” were written, charts of good and bad language drawn up and circulated, and the new, less harsh lingo was soon common currency among social workers, adoptive parents, and the media. But what was cleansed out of the equation was that every adoption begins with someone else’s catastrophe.”

A list of excellent books for those interested in foster care or international adoption.

8 struggles familiar to those waiting to adopt.

Should we be saying “no” more to our children?

How one Sandy Hook mother found peace after unconscionable loss.

Why we need a new rating system for mothers.

5 ways to teach kids about consent. Love this one: “DON’T POUT. The feminist writer Jessica Valenti, author of Sex Object, recently told me this eye-opening tip: “It’s important to normalize a healthy reaction to the rejection of affection. So, if I ask my daughter for a kiss on the cheek and she says not right now, I smile and say, ‘Okay!’ I want her to know that the appropriate reaction to saying ‘no’ to physical affection is saying fine and moving on. Not a guilt trip, not anger, not sulking.” It was a lightbulb moment. Before, when Anton didn’t want to cuddle, I’d playfully pout and beg for kisses — now I respect his decision and move on.”

Have a lovely weekend!