January 07, 2015

Parenting Resolutions

The clock strikes 12 on January 1 and suddenly we all vow to be new and inspired people. While there is great benefit to taking a look at your life and assessing where you can be stronger and better, the push to nail down resolutions can also make you feel like you’re not doing anything right at all. And that’s certainly not the case! As parents, here are a few resolutions we have for 2015 (hint: they’re not about being superhuman moms and dads).

1. Date night. More of them and often! Managing those sweet little babes of ours can certainly bring some added stress into our lives. Not in a bad way…growing humans is a big job! One of the top ways to be a good parent is to be a happy spouse. Happy marriage = happy home, and that’s the best possible environment in which our kiddos can thrive. So get those date nights on the calendar…doing something special for you comes back to your kids tenfold.

2. No need to transform. Are you feeling like you want to improve your parenting style a bit? That’s okay, we can probably all stand to do that. But that doesn’t mean you need to launch a 180-degree overhaul of the way you parent. Take a look at some of your smaller habits and focus on evolving those instead. Maybe you yell too much, maybe it’s time to put the cell phone down during dinner, maybe you take 30 minutes off the end of your work day and transfer that to time with your kids at home. Whatever it is, give yourself a break and go small. You’ll feel better, and you’ll likely yield stronger results.

3. Why are we yelling so much? What does yelling accomplish, really? Generally, it escalates conflict, distances people from one another, and leads with aggression rather than compassion. Think of ways you can replace yelling with more effective responses: deep breaths, hugs, and walking away for five minutes are great places to start.

4. Kick a bad habit. You can always say “Do as I say, not as I do,” but let’s face it — if your habits tell them that certain actions are okay, why shouldn’t they follow in those footsteps? Bonus points if your habit costs you money: save what you would normally spend for a vacation with your kids!

5. You time. Not just you and spouse time. YOU time. Get up earlier, put the kids to bed earlier, enjoy a glass of wine, read a book. You deserve it, and you’re setting an excellent precedent for your child about the importance of taking care of yourself.