August 16, 2015
Post Adoption Depression Syndrome
More and more light has been shone on Post Partum Depression, a very specific kind of depression that occurs after a woman gives birth, affecting her emotionally and mentally, and often disrupting her ability to connect to motherhood or her newborn. But those who adopt can experience a very specific type of depression as well: Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS). It’s real, it has its own symptoms, and those enduring this very difficult time deserve the same level of support and awareness as anyone struggling with negative emotions after becoming a parent. It’s a crazy thing to imagine — how can someone feel depressed after finally getting something they’ve wanted so much? That question can cause deep guilt and shame, and may leave the mother struggling on her own, embarrassed to ask for help. We’re here to tell you that there is absolutely nothing shameful about this condition, and that if you have or are experiencing Post Adoption Depression Syndrome, you are in no way alone. So what are some of the symptoms?
Feelings of guilt, anxiety, depression, deep sadness, fatigue, stress.
Feelings of exhaustion, a lack of motivation.
An inability to connect to your body, to motherhood, to your newborn.
A desire to have your old life back, or to go back to the way things were.
An inability to find joy or happiness in activities that you previously loved.
Changes in appetite, weight, sleep patterns.
Thoughts of suicide.
An inability to concentrate or focus.
There are so many reasons that PADS can develop, and none of them have anything to do with your ability to be a wonderful parent, mother, person or spouse. There are so many expectations that come along with adoption. The process often takes a very long time, and the buildup of emotions is undeniable. It is so natural, and understandable, that after all that, to come home and have your life completely change in an instant, can be so incredibly overwhelming. There’s also an awareness of the birth mother’s loss, or residual feelings about infertility, or one’s own inability to get pregnant. All these feelings can collide and snowball out of control, resulting in a very real state of depression that warrants nurturing, attention, love and support.
If you are feeling any symptoms of depression, we urge you to talk to your spouse, a doctor, and or a therapist. This is not something you should try and undertake alone. It absolutely requires the professional attention, and the support of someone who can help guide you through this difficult time and into a more stable place.
For more information about Post Adoption Depression Syndrome, this very helpful fact sheet is filled with information about PADS, why it happens, and what to do if it is affecting you.