March 08, 2014
Do You Use The Word Adopted?
We came across this article recently which really hit home. Called “Dear Media People: Quit Using The Word Adopted” it shares the thoughts of an adoptive mother who is sick of having her child referred to as her “adopted” child. And also sick of seeing so many examples of this behavior in the news. “And of course, any publication associated with celebrities LOVES to label children. My favorite is when the article goes something like this: “Nicole Kidman will begin shooting her movie next week. Kidman, who has two adopted children, one biological daughter, and another daughter born by surrogate, cut her hair for the role,” she says.
Why should it have to be clarified how a children came to become yours? As Amanda points out, we don’t refer to some children as IVF babies, or sperm bank donor babies, so why must everyone feel so compelled to remind us, and others, that our children are adopted?
We posed this question to our Facebook community and received a diverse array of responses in return. Many admitted that they’ve been frustrated before when friends and family introduced their child as their adopted child, and that despite the fact that their child’s adoption is a source of great pride, it isn’t necessary to insert it into every point of a conversation, or to qualify their child’s existence in that manner. And to be clear — we’re not saying that you shouldn’t be having an open dialogue with your children about their adoption, or that you shouldn’t be telling them they’re adopted. We are huge advocates of raising your children to proudly know they’re adopted. This issue is about how children are introduced into conversation — as if the fact that they’re adopted means that they can never be simply introduced as your son or daughter.
We were curious about what other people around the web thought, so we’ve gathered up some links to share more about this issue. It’s so interesting what people have to say. And while opinions vary, one thing is beautifully consistent: people are proud to have adoption be part of their lives.
Why We Shouldn’t Use the Word “Adopt” Casually
How To Deal With In-Laws Who Keep Introducing Your Child As Adopted
Do you tell strangers that your children are adopted?
Parents, Please Educate Your Kids About Adoption So Mine Don’t Have To
10 things adoptive parents wish their friends and family understood
