November 27, 2015

What’s the best way to compliment your kids?

After watching this video gone viral about a teacher who begins each day by giving his students compliments, we started thinking about how important compliments are. They nurture, they build self-esteem, they show support and love, they call attention to the important things about our children and celebrate them. This is so important, and it goes much deeper than simply telling them that their hair looks nice, or that you like their outfit. So how can we compliment our children in a way that counts?

Challenge yourself to stay away from compliments about how they look. This simple task alone will force you to dig deeper. It also reduces the potential harm of only focusing on how your kids look. Rather than calling attention to their looks and reinforcing those as important aspects of who they are, it forces you to pay closer attention to their character, while teaching them to value their character and goodness over how they look.

Compliment the way they treat people. We want to grow our children into humans who treat others well, and the best way to do that is to reinforce and show them how powerful their kind actions are. If you see your child doing something good for someone else, or going out of their way to be kind, let them know you noticed! It always feels good to know that someone is noticing the small things, and these “small things” actually make a monumental impact in the long run.

Hone in a special skill. There’s something unique about everyone, and how good does it make you feel to know that someone has seen that in you and wants to celebrate it? Encourage your child’s uniqueness, encourage what makes them different, help them to stand out in a crowd and embrace their individuality. That has the potential to give them a huge boost in their self-confidence, in addition to feeling proud of what makes them special.

Let them know how they make you feel. There is nothing better in the world than knowing that you have made someone feel good. If your child does something that makes you feel good, let them know! Tell them why, show them how. Encourage that sensitivity and kindness. It will also strengthen your relationship, and create some equilibrium. They’ll be able to feel and see how they’re contributing to their relationship with you, and that’s an exceptional feeling.