April 30, 2015

Why We Celebrate Birth Mother’s Day

Did you know this Saturday is Birth Mother’s Day? While not as widely acknowledged as Mother’s Day, this very important day is commemorated each year on the Saturday before Mother’s Day, and the more people who know about it, the better. The holiday began in 1990, when a group of birth mothers in Seattle gathered for a variety of reasons — to remember and share their own stories, but also to educate the public about what it truly means to be a birth mother. As anyone in the adoption industry knows — birth mothers more than anyone — the role of a birth mother is one that is vastly misunderstood. Negative language, like saying they “gave up” their child, rather than placing them for adoption, in addition to countless other unfounded perceptions about what it truly means to be a birth mother, have plagued birth mothers with negative stereotypes for decades and beyond.

We love and support this day because we believe birth mothers need to be acknowledged. Their role in the adoption triad, their unbelievable sacrifice, their commitment to giving a child a better, more fulfilling life, and the grief they endure, unable to parent their children as they so badly want to, deserves to be recognized. We are so glad this day exists, and if you didn’t know about it before, we hope that you truly take it into consideration this weekend. If you have an open adoption, or any contact with your child’s birth mother, consider sending them a note, a gift, a token of your acknowledgement and appreciation for their role in your life and the life of your child. Take it a step farther and tell someone not as closely associated with adoption about Birth Mother’s Day. We all know how incredible birth mothers are, but it’s really important that people outside of the adoption world understand this as well. That’s how we spread knowledge, that’s how we advocate for their rights and for them to receive due respect and acknowledgement. By sharing their stories, which have so deeply influenced our stories.

Wherever you are, whatever your relationship is to your child’s birth mother, this weekend, take some time for reflection. Put something out into the world that honors these women. Because their sacrifice, their pain, their grief, their courage, their choice, their role as the mother of a child is honest and true. And it shouldn’t be brushed aside.